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Dukhi atma dasa and his family are good standing devotees since twenty five years. You have known the family since the last ten years that you came to Krishna consciousness. Dukhi atma prabhu talks to you often and one issue he comes up with most often is his concern over his lack of making any tangible advancement in his spiritual life over the last two decades. He confesses to you that although all devotees respect him as a senior devotee, he still has lust in his heart. He is ashamed but wonders why the process is not working on him despite his sincere efforts to chant nicely. In his managerial role in various services, he is known to have been rough with devotees in the past, and passed snide remarks at them on certain occasions. However he later makes up with some of them and has good relationships with many devotees in the community. He has also attended many Holy Name seminars, yet feels his chanting is poor and attraction to material world very high.
Pareshan is troubled by his inability to chant attentively. He feels frustrated as the chanting session leaves him tired and dry. He’s heard in classes that the Holy Names of Krishna is sweeter than the sweetest. 
my understanding I guess is to go back to the roots of spiritual life – (1) being enthusiastic, (2) endeavoring with confidence, (3) being patient, (4) acting according to regulative principles (such as śravaṇaḿ kīrtanaḿ viṣṇoḥ smaraṇam [SB 7.5.23] — hearing, chanting and remembering Kṛṣṇa), (5) abandoning the association of nondevotees, and (6) following in the footsteps of the previous ācāryas. These six principles undoubtedly assure the complete success of pure devotional service.
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Half of the problem is solved when detected and confessed.
Dukhi Atma should try to:
1. Take guidance from his councellor’s without feeling hesitation of what they think as our Guru has assigned us his representatives who help us come out of Maya.
2. Contemplate on his activities and leave no gaps for the mind to start triggering on the thoughts of how to enjoy or become lusty.
3. Respect devotees around and if mind tries doing offences against them then keep a respectful distance and pay your obeisances to them. Ask for forgiveness as it relieves the mind of the burden of negativity.
4. Prayers are the most powerful weapon of a devotee. we can feel the presence of divine in the prayers. Take some time out to cry in front of guru and Krishna and they are all there to take us back home.
Wish to see you Sukhi one day Dukhi Prabhu. Hare Krishna
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Strictly avoid offenses & serve devotees with all eagerness, enthusiasm & in a desperate mood. We should always be anxious for an opportunity to serve devotees. If devotees are pleased then anything is possible.
Also always try to remember the 11th offense. Inattentiveness while chanting is the cause of all other offenses.
So best is to associate & chant with those who have a taste for the holy name.
Should also hear & read more & more.
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Lack of faith in following the instructions of spiritual master is the reason for Dukhi aatma’s plight…….
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All the best to Dukhi Atma Das…… Devotees' prayers are required and yes – of course one thing has to be appreciated that he never left chanting.
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Certainly this is not a special case of Dukhi Atma pr as most devotees do feel similarly about their chanting. At the same time we need to regularly introspect and go back to the basics which we learnt in our first few years of Krishna Consciousness.
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Yeah I do agree,
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carry on as u r doing ……………..a day will come when lord himself will come to take u
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Hare Krishna.
Dukhi's in Lord Chaitanya's movement aren't allowed to stay so for long.
Thank you Sajeev Prabhu for your beautiful answer.
I beg and pray that I'm able to implement your answer.
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As often mentioned by HH Radhanath Swami in his lectures, criticising the devotees covers our spiritual credits and we had to struugle and need the causeless mercy of Devotees to rediscover it again.
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It is good that Dukhi Atma Das feels this way, as it will only make him endeavor harder. He will remain humble and his internal cleansing will continue. He must, however, refrain from offending devotees, and sincerely beg forgiveness of those he has offended. There should remain a dependence on Guru and Gauranga for help, and he will make good spiritual advancement. Hari Bol!
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The only process to be continued is remembering the Lord and his holy names. I feel I am also travelling in the same boat that of Dukhi atma Prabhu. I am not so qualified to make any significant remarks on this. However hearing Maharaj and many other senior vaishnava acaryas revealing many a times that devotees should develop the mood of Trinadapi sunichena. More humility, respect & offenseless dealings with devotees will definetely bring a lot of improvisation. With all this Dukhi atma Prabhu may find the present situation with hope.
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Being myself not qualified to put anything here, still as per my feeling DukhiAtma pr should hear and read more and be enthusiastic in rendering services and not bother about the results as our process is endeavour oriented and not result oriented even if result is tangible spiritual advancement.
As HH Radhanath Swami maharaj says ' Do not try to BE the BEst but Try to do your BEst'
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He should beg forgiveness from devotees whom he offended in past and also ask them to pray for him. Than gradually he will be devoid of lust and progress in spiritual life.
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Vaishnava offense is one of the offenses that can curb the progress of the advancing devotee to a great extent.
Radhanath Maharaj says "KC is not about being right but right beyond right". So we have to deal with the devotees with utmost care, even after asking forgiveness from a devotee, we cannot establish the same relationship once we have hurt a vaishnava although he may have completely forgiven us.
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For personal & detailed guidance dukhiatmap should seek help from his councilor.
Briefly-for such a problem we need to strengthen the basics/foundation
A-association, service to seniors, friendship with equals&compassion to juniors
B-reading books in desperation, seeking guidance for improvement
C-chanting in prayerful mood,seeking service and improving deligently
D-diet, having just prasadam-serving prasadam for krishna's enjoyment and wanting being enjoyed by Lord.
and S-serving menially or under senior vaishnavas in desperate personal need for purification, not that I am favoring or doing great work.
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it is good to have attitude that our chanting is not good and we need to improve upon them. But by this thought, we should not get demotivated. However other most important aspect of his life is relation with other devotees which he should focus upon and should completely avoid offending them
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I have heard in lectures that 99.9% advancement depends on chanting and the right attitude for us to have so that God reveals himself in his holy names to be humble and tolerant. Probably this devotee should pray to the lord to guide him.
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I heard from a devotee that once when HH Radhanath Swami Maharaj was asked whats the success behind his spiritual life, he mentioned besides the chanting of the Holynames, “never to criticize any living entity”.
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His sincerity and humility in expressing his weaknesses to devotees , besides the awareness of his own defects wil certainly attract the Lord's attention.
The Lord's responses though come at the most appropriate time for the devotee, a few years or a few months , Krishna knows. But he is perfect and his decisions are flawless.
Dukhi Das must humbly request his friends and specially senior vaishnavas to interced with the Lord on his behalf. This is a sure fire formula. Of Course, once he is aware of his faultfinding and criticising nature, he must actively work on this defect. That is itself the sign of how sincere he is to draw Mercy.
hari Bol.
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Not to offend other devotees is the secret in advancement of Krishna consciousness. Try not to find faults but try to help others to advance in Krishna consciousness.
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very true Selfless service very very important,. thank you very much for sharing.
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Lord Krishna clearly says to Arjuna that it's lust only which devastates the whole consciousness and it's the worst enemy of everyone.
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Lust is very difficult to conquer but regular devotional service in the association of devotees will eventually vanquish it
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Thank you for sharing how chanting with focus should be the focus and not the number of years spent in Krsna consciousness.
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Maya is very powerful. What is commendable is Dukhi das is not giving up chanting even after the so-called failure after 20 years. This sincerity and persistence will surely help him perfect his life in this very birth of certainly in the next.
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I feel one has to sincere & honest to make KC progress. As per Nector of instructions Determination is required to please GuruMaharaj & his disciples selflessly.Selfless service very very important
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Dukhi Atma Prabhu although having anarthas is sincerely trying to follow the process of purification. If he can develop better attitude while dealing with devotees, that might speed it up.
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thank you for sharing
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Spiritual like completely depends on mercy of devotees and sincere service attitude so, if there is one of the element missing, our spiritual life becomes stagnant,
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thank you for a nice story.
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May be he appears to hv lots of past karma and anarthas.. but the fact that he is making up in relationships and knows his prooblem he has to stick on to the process be more serious in sadhana and the fact that he is taking advice means he is looking forward to improve.. He has hopes,.. other wise many people don’t even know they are suffering…
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Thank you for sharing
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so true prabhu.progress of bhakti depends on the association with devotees.
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Very true Gopinath Chandra pr. Offending devotees is Mad Elephant offense. And offense at verbal level is more serious than at mental level. Dukhi Aatma pr has offended devotees verbaly, though because of whatever reason, so there has to be despondency in his heart. Devotees are devotees – very dear to Krishna so lesson for me is handle them with utmost care.
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Overcoming Anartha's is most difficult thing in spiritual life, & the time to overcome depends on how strong is the conditioning. I heard from few senior devotees, the only was to overcome is to beg the mercy of the lord & senior devotees. Sometimes even by calling Srila Prabhupada when we had bad thoughts coming in mind helps.
And I personally feel lot of impact when I hear Radhanath Swami Maharaj's lecture related to lust, pride & Anartha Nivriti.
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Material Desires don't go easy.. till the time we feel devotees as the only shelter. If the relationships between devotees turns to disputes, chanting is directly affected and when chanting is affected, taste goes away and then a person tries to make relations with others outside and whole cycle starts… Thats why Radhanath swami always says one should consider oneself more fallen than blade of grass and tolerant like tree…. but to follow these principles in our life….it takes time
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Sory one more edition…. to below mentioned comments
The character is the result of past Karma’s to change it immediately is very difficult it is called :Swabhav janit Dosh’ what is important is how schencerly Dukhi Prabhu is chanting
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I think to get rid of Anartha's in this lifetime is seems to be very difficult or rather only option left for us is "Chanting Sciencerly" in association of devotees . This also is the effort we can make with each and every hari nam we take.
I got one mail with below mentioned para…
"Radhanath Swami chants his daily quota of Hare Krishna mantras in the association of his students and other Bhakti Yogis. Although he is a four decade veteran in the science of practising Hare Krishna meditation, he teaches by his own example the need to tap the power of association of other devotees while practising Bhakti Yoga"
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chanting has to be done with full concentration .
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This Dukhi Atma sounds like me totally. Hope i also learn from the lessons he is taught here. Thank you all.
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Just like how we water the root of the tree ..and the whole tree is nourished…but the watering is done thru' the soil..similarly chanting the holy names satisfies the lord but that chanting has to be done with the proper respectful attitude towards the vaishnavas..then chanting will have effect…that is the problem with Dukhi atma das…
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i agree with gopinath chandra. unless we can respect other devotees, we cant make spiritual advancement. krishna releases the stock of mercy to the extent we please other devotees and have a loving relationship with them
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wonderful. I will try to work on improving relationships with devotees
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There is a small correction in my above message…
Apologies for the error…
Taking up austerities, sastra study, holy places tour, and even association of devotees will not help us much in advancement in Krishna Consciousness if our relations and behavior with devotees is on a platform which will not please Sri Guru and Sri Krsna
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When we come to KC, our advancement seems tangible cos in the beginning we deal with devotees very respectfully. As time passes, we think we are something and respect decreases and then KC advancement becomes intangible….
Taking up austerities, sastra study, holy places tour, and even association of devotees will not help us much in advancement in Krishna Consciousness if our relations and behavior with devotees is not on a platform which will not please Sri Guru and Sri Krsna. Caitanya Mahaprabhu has said that if we blaspheme devotees, the chanting of each name of Krsna will only destroy us rather than uplift us. The more we co-operate with devotees in a humble mood sidelining our ego, the more we will advance via medium of strong realizations and convictions. Thus we will be able to give up our anarthas which primarily happened cos Guru and Krsna was pleased by our dealings with devotees and not due to our own endeavor to eliminate the unwanted desires.
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Radhanath Swami says, a devotee should be sincere, serious and without ulterior motives, in any of his activities – especially devotional activities.
When one does that, in a humble mood, in the mood of the servant of the servant, Radhanath Swami says, Lord is pleased. Thus our heart gets purified and we receive the mercy of Guru and Krishna and that is the success. This is possible by shravanam, kirtanam and seva and with the right association.
Hope I was able to repeat some of the words of Radhanath Swami and there by help Dukhi Atma dasa with some answers.
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thank you for this nice reply
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This is a nice answer!
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The problem seems to be with his dealings with devotees. Development in Bhakti very much depends upon that. Overall, one has to sincerely work on building his/her character to proceed at full pace on the devotional path.
Anyone out there has something else to say?
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